Nope, not today

Nope, not today That’s the general state of things here in Shiloh land.

Some days are better than others, and the better ones are starting to outnumber the bad ones, but right now, even my better days aren’t good ones yet.

This is the lousy thing about dealing with depression, and when you’ve got family matters that threaten to push you over that brink and there’s not much you can do…well, once you fall over that bring, you can try to grab for the ledge, catch something on the way down and maybe hang on, or you just hit rock bottom. I think I caught some sharp jagged rock about half way down.

Depression is physically exhausting, It’s mentally exhausting. It’s emotionally exhausting.

I want to say that everything with my brother is all roses, but it’s not. Even if it was, that wouldn’t help me.  I’m still pulling myself up, hands all bloodied from that sharp rock I grabbed on the downhill slide, and now I’ve got to climb back to the top of that ledge.

But…I did go see my doctor last week.  We adjusted meds.

Sometimes, it’s necessary.

Today I went to the gym, and I didn’t have to make myself.

I’m sleeping five hours a night now, most nights.

That’s a step in the right direction.

Don’t ever feel bad about reaching out for help, or talking to somebody. It’s human. We’re all human.