said he, said she…unless you’re ee cummings…

So I finally joined a book club here in my neck of the woods.  Nobody knows I’m an author.  It’s one of the reasons I like my anonynmity and my pictures with books over my face and my pen name…I decide who gets to know, etc. Okay, there’s one person who might know–if she remembers. But I dunno.

But that’s not the point of this discussion.

The book…and the DIALOGUE TAGS…man.

We’re going to pretend we’re talking aloud for this point of today’s blog post.  Read along *out loud* with me. You’ll get the point.

This is especially helpful if you’re a writer…newbies, beware! We probably all do this starting out. 😉

Shiloh talks about dialogue tags

“So I read this book. It was…okay, I guess,” I said.

“It sounds like you didn’t like it, Shiloh!” you said.

“Well…I had some issues with the ending, but up until that, it was mostly…okay, I had some qualms. A couple of really big ones, really. DIALOGUE TAGS,” I said.

“What’s that?” you said..

“A dialogue tag is what a writer uses to let the reader know who is talking,” I said, trying to be helpful.

“Oh! I get it! So if you were writing this bit out, you’d be using our names and he said, she said, blah blah blah…right?” you said.

“Well….” I said, wincing.  “There are other ways.  It works for ee cummings. In that one poem.”

At your blank look…I quoted,

may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she

“But beyond that? Eh, there are better ways to do it,” I said.

“Please explain!” You said.

Now… TAGGING out…

“So I read this book. It was…okay, I guess,” I said.

“It sounds like you didn’t like it, Shiloh!” One brow arched, you studied me.

“Well…I had some issues with the ending, but up until that, it was mostly…okay, I had some qualms. A couple of really big ones, really.” I held out my hands, spread wide apart, showing just how big the qualms were. “DIALOGUE TAGS.:”.

“What’s that?” You frowned, curious.

“A dialogue tag is what a writer uses to let the reader know who is talking,” I explained, shrugging it off.

“Oh! I get it!” You grinned at me.  “So if you were writing this bit out, you’d be using our names and he said, she said, blah blah blah…right?”

“Well….” I winced. “There are other ways.  It works for ee cummings. In that one poem.”

At your blank look…I quoted,

may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she

“But beyond that? Eh, there are better ways to do it.” Shrugging, I looked away, ready to drop the subject.

But you leaned forward, wide-eyed. “Please explain!”

The difference!

It’s still pretty clear who is…um…talking here.  Tags like he said, she said, etc don’t have to all be thrown out, but using them with every line of dialogue, or even every other line can drag the story down.

Okay. I’m done talking writing for the day. Now I’m going to go actually write.

**BTW, the poem…  EE Cummings May I Feel Said He 

One Reply to “said he, said she…unless you’re ee cummings…”

  1. oh wow. you’re so right – I didn’t even know what was bothering me about books that do this.
    Saw the news about Grimm – hope it brings more folks in to reading it …good luck!

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