Maybe it’s just me

But when you’ve actually sat there and watched somebody actually die…as in held their hand, watched the life fade from their eyes, watched the monitor go still as their heartbeat stops some things don’t seem quite as important.

It’s things like politics.  It’s like the differences all humans are going to have.  It’s even things like their shallow and petty nastiness, because one thing you see that you hadn’t expected…?  Their family.  They suffer.  They hadn’t necessarily done anything wrong, and they suffer.  They grieve and they hurt and they mourn.

And regardless…people screw up.  We all do it.  And we also all die.

These are two things we all have in common-we will all make mistakes in this life…and we will all die.

Yes…I’ve watched it.  When I did the nursing home circuit and held the hands of people, it never once occurred to me to wonder… what are their politics…what is their religion….how did they vote…what do they think right now, what do they feel….

What mattered was that they were a person… who was dying–leaving this world, and passing to the next.

What matters to me, about life, is that –life is precious.

Yes.  I’m a nurse. And yes, I’ve watched people suffer.  Yes, I’ve seen more people die than some.

But you know what?  That shouldn’t matter.  We’ve all lost people in life, right?  That should tell you one simple thing-that person matteredto us.  Basic empathy should tell us this…most people matter to somebody.

So… don’t hand out some empty piece of shit-and I don’t care who it’s for–Obama, Palin, Beck (and I’m so disconnected, I don’t even know who in the hell he (beck) is nor do I care) even that idiot Ph*lps who runs that church in Kansas….talking about striking people dead, or what-not.  You do it, then be prepared for me to call it ugly-because that’s what it is.  Wishing death on people is ugly.

PERIOD.  Yes, this is my opinion, but hey, it’s my blog, and I’m allowed to my opinion.

Am I maybe oversensitive to this?

Possibly.  I’ll take into consideration that I’ve lost about four friends recently.  Yes, four… I hadn’t gone into detail about the deaths of a few others online, because frankly, it depresses me.

Since I consider life to be precious-let’s examine why…I’ve seen…oh, well, not examining the patients I’ve lost, because I can’t go into detail about that without breaking down-but the numbers there…it’s in the dozens just over a few years.  We won’t take into consideration the fact that I did pediatrics for the latter half of my career before I quit to focus on writing. Although, hey… I did office work–pediatrics.  We don’t tend to see a lot of deaths.

So lets talk friends.  Just in the past 18 months, I’ve buried about six friends-people I’ve known since I was in grade school, and it’s brutal.  Two of the ladies were like grandmothers …and had been ever since mine died when I was grade school.  About a month ago, I had to bury a guy who was like a grandfather, which, I guess, in the end, it was a blessing in disguise-I never had a real one that I can recall-not one I could on, by blood, at least–it’s nice to look back and connect memories to this guy.  Two weeks after he died, his daughter died… and that almost gutted me.  I can’t even begin to tell you what that is doing to me.

And do you really think I care what her politics are?

Do I know their politics?  Nope.  Do I care?  Nope.  Why?  Well… they were people.

In the end, that’s what matters.

They were people.  Naturally, these people mattered to me because I knew them.  Loved them… I’m still grieving over them, and yes, I’m still mourning and probably more sensitive than I normally would be.

But whether I was mourning or not?  Flippant remarks over a person’s life or lack of have always pissed me off.  Yeah.  People are entitled to make them.  And I’m entitled to be irritated about them.

Even the people who run their mouths and annoy the snot out of me?

You know what?

They are still people.

I won’t wish death on them.

It doesn’t matter I believe somebody is up there to deliver, not in my opinion.


Because, in the end, if I’m wishing death…it doesn’t matter what I do or don’t believe…if I’m wishing death, I’m already doing something unspeakable, because the way I see it…wishing death on anybody is something unspeakable.

Life is precious.

Whether you like a person or not, that person probably matters to somebody.  Even if it’s just their own family.  If they disappeared–they’d leave a mark.  A scar.  Regardless of their politics, there would be wounds.

I’ve watched people die.  I’ve comforted those left behind.  I’ve held their hands.  More times than I care to count.  Yes, I made that choice when I went into the medical field.  But you know what? I did that because I consider life to be precious-and because I consider life to precious, I’ll say this…

I don’t care what the hell your politics, your rationale, your reason, your whatever the hell is–unless you’ve watched people die and comforted those left behind?

Do me a favor.  Don’t give me some trite, empty, bull-shit excuse when you say crap-all shit about striking anybody dead.  And fyi… this has nothing to do with politics. And everything to do with life.

And before you try to tell me that you’re entitled to wish whatever in the hell you want… here’s an exchange-you watch somebody die.  Sit there and watch it, be there for those left behind and then come talk to me.

After that?  Maybe we can talk.

And because I’m not in the mood to discuss this kind of ugliness?  Comments closed.

**Anybody wondering why I’m so combative… yes, this was inspired by an offhand comment made-perhaps it was casual, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be “i wish this person was dead…” but I’ve seen too many people die, and I’ve had too much death in my life lately to take that kind of nastiness lightly-I don’t care who it’s regarding-it doesn’t matter if I like the person or not.  Hell, I don’t even care if I know the person or not.