Summary

It turns out all three of our kids are autistic. All three have ADHD. Yes, sometimes when you have one, you'll see the other, and when there is autism, you'll see symptoms common in ADHD, although not the other way around. There's a large overlap between the two.

Maybe that's why it took this conversation for the last domino to fall.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation with Guitar Kid, but before I get into that, let me preface with this…when Diva graduated high school and moved out to Colorado for college, she eventually got evaluated and diagnosed as being autistic. Looking back, now, it’s easier to see it.

Girls are still very much under-diagnosed and she was socialized well, excelled in school…nothing that would have stood out to me.

But then, she got diagnosed. And some dominoes started falling.

It turns out all three of our kids are autistic. All three have ADHD. Yes, sometimes when you have one, you’ll see the other, and when there is autism, you’ll see symptoms common in ADHD, although not the other way around. There’s a large overlap between the two.

Maybe that’s why it took this conversation for the last domino to fall.

pre-cursor being something weird I’d done or said.

Guitar Kid: ‘Hey, let’s hear it for ADHD.’

Me: Snorting and rolling my eyes.

Guitar Kid: ‘Or, maybe…hey, let’s hear it for autism.‘

Me: stopping to look like they’d lost their mind. ‘are you implying I’m ADHD, which we all know… or that I’m autistic?’

Guitar Kid: ‘Yes…? And yes.‘

Me: Me, frankly stumped, walking off.

And later… I’m reading articles, because I can’t get what they said out of my head.

I found this one and let me tell you when I read it, I’d never felt so called out. I spent the next several weeks reading up on autism in women, masking, the underdiagnosing stats, taking several online tests – FYI, testing costs an arm and leg and there’s no real reason to have a concrete answer, except I’d feel better knowing, but uncertainty drives me batty.

The more I read, the more likely it seems I am autistic. So, armed with a bunch of questions, I talked with my primary care physician during my yearly check-up and although she can’t give a diagnosis, her unofficial theory…yes.

More than likely, I’m autistic.

What does it matter now? In the long run…nothing…and a lot. It’s an answer to struggles I’ve had all my life, struggles I’ve kept to myself because what else was I going to do? It explains why some things are such a problem for me when they come easily for others.

And knowing some of this makes me a little sad, because if I’d known sooner, could I have made changes that might have made a difference earlier on? But then I have to stop myself, because the what-if game sucks and I just try to figure out a way to incorporate changes now.

Anyway, if you’re one of the numerous adult women coming into the realization late like me… you’re not alone. And we got this. We made it this far, right?