{"id":4784,"date":"2010-04-14T11:04:46","date_gmt":"2010-04-14T16:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shilohwalker.wordpress.com\/?p=4784"},"modified":"2010-04-14T11:04:46","modified_gmt":"2010-04-14T16:04:46","slug":"courtesy-it-does-count-and-other-ramblings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2010\/04\/courtesy-it-does-count-and-other-ramblings\/","title":{"rendered":"Courtesy&#8230;.it does count, and other ramblings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yesterday, the night before&#8230;on twitter, well.\u00a0 It was interesting.<\/p>\n<p>It started when a guy&#8217;s email to an agent went public.\u00a0 In short&#8230;the guy was a jerk.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not linking to it, but basically, the guy received a polite rejection and then responds with a note along the lines of&#8230; <em>thanks, you moronic female.\u00a0 Go back to your second-rate hack writers.\u00a0 Apparently I&#8217;m too brilliant for you to understand.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Insulting in so many ways.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Struck me as chauvinistic.<\/li>\n<li>Insulted every one of the agent&#8217;s writers<\/li>\n<li>Um&#8230; the arrogance.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>How did it go public?\u00a0 Well, the agent posted it to her blog.<\/p>\n<p>Personally, I have no problems with that part-there was later a haiku contest, and that?\u00a0 Well, I see no point in it.\u00a0 Also, tons of people join in on the bandwagon, and knowing human nature, I imagine many of them were doing it in hopes to make their names stand out to the agent.\u00a0 Eh, that isn&#8217;t likely.<\/p>\n<p>So here are some thoughts on this subject and courtesy in general.<\/p>\n<p>A disclaimer though-a lot of people are assuming the writers who are jumping in are doing this to either impress in agent, or just because other writer friends are&#8230;I rarely do anything just because other people do it.\u00a0 Actually, I&#8217;m more likely to do the opposite-that&#8217;s kind of how I am-I have a contrary nature.\u00a0 And I&#8217;ve got an agent-one I love and adore-I knew I&#8217;d love her when I was asking around about her and was told this:\u00a0 &#8220;Well, she&#8217;s blunt.&#8221;\u00a0 *G*\u00a0 That&#8217;s how I am.\u00a0 It was a writer\/agent match made in heaven.\u00a0 As I don&#8217;t need an agent, and as I don&#8217;t know the agent, or the writer, I don&#8217;t really have a pony in this race.\u00a0 But I don&#8217;t need to have a pony in the race to have some thoughts on the subject.<\/p>\n<p>My thoughts&#8230;.in a random, nonsensical string.<\/p>\n<p>Courtesy counts.\u00a0 On both sides.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>This guy received a polite rejection.\u00a0 There was no reason for him to be an ass.\u00a0 And <strong><em>he was an ass<\/em><\/strong>.\u00a0 When he got an auto reply,\u00a0 <em><strong>he was an even bigger ass<\/strong><\/em>.<\/li>\n<li>This guy, if my research proves correct, isn&#8217;t an aspiring writer.\u00a0 It would appear there is an assumption that he is an aspiring writer, but I think he&#8217;s already published.\u00a0 Aspiring writers are going make more mistakes-that&#8217;s how we learn, and even then, really, there&#8217;s no reason for rudeness.\u00a0 The guy&#8217;s website?\u00a0 If that&#8217;s him in the pictures?\u00a0 He&#8217;s also not young-as in&#8230;he&#8217;s not fresh out of high school, still trying to figure things out.\u00a0 Had he either been younger or an aspiring author, or both&#8230;maybe I would have had a different reaction, but I don&#8217;t know.\u00a0 Because regardless, his response was flat out rude and he should have behaved with a little more courtesy.<\/li>\n<li>As he is already published, he should know the drill.\u00a0 If you wanted to be treated with professional courtesy, you have to <em>act<\/em> with professional courtesy.<\/li>\n<li>I have no problem with the guy&#8217;s letter being posted on an agent&#8217;s blog-it serves as a reminder for one very simple rule:\u00a0 <strong>courtesy counts<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>Now had it been me?\u00a0 Would I have posted his letter?\u00a0 I dunno.\u00a0 Maybe.\u00a0 Possibly-I might have closed comments-you <em>can<\/em> make a point without letting something become a free-for-all.<\/li>\n<li>I wouldn&#8217;t have done a silly haiki contest-don&#8217;t see the point.<\/li>\n<li>There is <em><strong>no<\/strong><\/em> part of the publishing circle that is unimportant.\u00a0 This goes from the unpublished writer straight to the reader.\u00a0 We need all of us-because we were all unpublished at one point.\u00a0 And without no readers, who would buy our books?\u00a0 We all matter.\u00a0 But not one of us matter any more than the other.<\/li>\n<li>Writers who think they are the end all, be all of brilliance?\u00a0 Um&#8230; get over yourself.\u00a0 Really.\u00a0 Seriously.<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re inside the business, you will learn\/have learned that very often, you get subjected to rude (and often bizarre) behavior. \u00a0 And sadly&#8230;<em><strong>this is not uncommon<\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0 It&#8217;s part of the business, so we deal with it.\u00a0 We all deal with it in different ways.<\/li>\n<li>Publishing is <em>not<\/em> a rainbow world.\u00a0 There are no unicorns, daisies and ponies awaiting you once you sign a contract.\u00a0 It&#8217;s a tough business and unfortunately you&#8217;re going to find many unpleasant people.<\/li>\n<li>You will also find some amazing friends&#8230;some will be fellow writers.\u00a0 Some may be your agents, some may your publishers, some may be your editors, some may be your readers.\u00a0 But go into this world with your eyes open, because it will save you a lot of disappointment.<\/li>\n<li>It strikes me that some people see this fiasco as the &#8216;end&#8217; of this writer&#8217;s career-it&#8217;s not, not unless he stops writing, and I don&#8217;t see that happen.\u00a0 Now whether or not his career goes anywhere could depend of 1) is he talented 2) is this indicative of his professionalism?\u00a0 But this isn&#8217;t going to put an end to his career-thinking this put a <strong>huge black mark<\/strong> against him in the annals of agent history? Eh, agents look for talent and they look for professionalism.\u00a0 If he has enough talent to catch the eye of an agent, and if he can act professionally, I don&#8217;t think that agent isn&#8217;t going to care about this.\u00a0 The internet is a small world, and yes, things live forever on it, but agents are all about business.\u00a0 If this guy pens a book that an agent sees as the next mega-blockbuster, do you really the agent is smart to walk away from that?<\/li>\n<li>Now&#8230; I don&#8217;t know that I would want to <strong>be<em> <\/em><\/strong>that agent-actually, I know I wouldn&#8217;t.\u00a0 I wouldn&#8217;t want to work with him, period, ever, forever and a day, not unless he adjusts his attitude, but\u00a0 agents do\/can\/will continue to work with difficult authors.<\/li>\n<li>It also strikes me that some people think this guy has become the victim of a bully&#8230;like he&#8217;s the dorky kid at high school being picked on by the popular kids. I&#8217;ve got a different view point~kind of an outsider view point, maybe because I don&#8217;t tend to join in on a lot of the discussions, even though I do observe.\u00a0 What I saw happen was a guy took a potshot at a woman because he didn&#8217;t like what she had to tell him.\u00a0 She swung back&#8230;publicly, and man, she had a hell of a right hook.\u00a0 Now he&#8217;s dealing with those consequences.<\/li>\n<li>Do <strong><em>not <\/em><\/strong>set people in the publishing industry (writers, editors, agents) up on some sort of pedestal.\u00a0 Don&#8217;t.\u00a0 They are just people, and like all people, they will make mistakes.\u00a0 When you put people on a pedestal, they are going to fall off, and that leaves you very, very disappointed.<\/li>\n<li>Jumping on a bandwagon doesn&#8217;t accomplish much.\u00a0 Following a crowd doesn&#8217;t accomplish much.\u00a0 Human nature, being what it is, I imagine some of the people commenting about the original note were trying to be clever, witty, etc, etc in hopes of catching the agent&#8217;s eye and making her remember them.\u00a0 This agent is hugely popular.\u00a0 She probably sees this A LOT.\u00a0 Following the crowd doesn&#8217;t make anybody stand out.\u00a0 Jumping on the bandwagon doesn&#8217;t make you stand out.\u00a0 Me, personally?\u00a0 The comments I remember the most are the politely-written, dissenting opinions.<\/li>\n<li>It is not an easy business, and the writing is actually the easiest part.\u00a0 If you want to go into it, that&#8217;s great&#8230;but do it with your eyes open.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Some things that have made me kind of sad&#8230;a lot of unpublished writers seem to think that speaking up against what they feel is wrong is automatic black mark against them.\u00a0\u00a0 It&#8217;s not.\u00a0 It really, really isn&#8217;t.\u00a0 <strong>Standing up for what you feel is wrong<\/strong> isn&#8217;t going to ruin your chances at finding an agent.\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 If you&#8217;ve got talent, if you&#8217;ve got a strong voice, and if you got a powerful story, that&#8217;s what an agent looks for.\u00a0 They are not going to look back over your blogging history and wonder if you ever stood up against something you felt was wrong.\u00a0 They may go <em>look<\/em> at your blog, but if you&#8217;ve got an interesting one, a professional presence, that&#8217;s probably all that matters.<\/p>\n<p>So.\u00a0 There ya go.<\/p>\n<p>The vast majority of us <em>do<\/em> try to be courteous, even when we&#8217;re handed the opposite and it happens more often than you would believe. Editors who have to walk around a hotel with their badges flipped around because otherwise they basically get accosted, even in the middle of private conversations, by total strangers who want to pitch ideas.\u00a0 Authors who have readers come up in the middle of booksignings with a manuscript and want them to read their manuscript-yes, this happens.\u00a0 I was at a fellow writer&#8217;s blog and saw a comment by another writer who was told by an unpublished writer that this writer OWED the unpublished writer-because the writer was published, and the unpublished writer wasn&#8217;t.\u00a0 Agents who can&#8217;t have a meal without being approached and having an idea pitched at them.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I had a reader get furious with me because I asked her to please delete a picture she had taken of me with my daughter-she had no right to take a picture of my child, but she was utterly furious when I tried to explain, &#8220;Please understand, but I don&#8217;t let people take pictures of my kids.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>While a lot of people think the mess with the agent &amp; writer was a horrid awful thing&#8230;well, if it served a purpose&#8230;if maybe it keeps some other writers from doing that, and they learned a lesson, maybe it&#8217;s not a bad thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yesterday, the night before&#8230;on twitter, well.\u00a0 It was interesting. It started when a guy&#8217;s email to an agent went public.\u00a0 In short&#8230;the guy was a<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2010\/04\/courtesy-it-does-count-and-other-ramblings\/\" class=\"more-link\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Courtesy&#8230;.it does count, and other ramblings&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10161045129738658_54762468447":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7,61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-author-netiquette","category-writing"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Courtesy....it does count, and other ramblings - Shiloh Walker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2010\/04\/courtesy-it-does-count-and-other-ramblings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Courtesy....it does count, and other ramblings - Shiloh Walker\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yesterday, the night before&#8230;on twitter, well.\u00a0 It was interesting. 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