{"id":37607,"date":"2017-04-28T09:00:54","date_gmt":"2017-04-28T13:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/?p=37607"},"modified":"2017-04-28T12:23:21","modified_gmt":"2017-04-28T16:23:21","slug":"its-okay-to-say-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2017\/04\/its-okay-to-say-it\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s okay to say it&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Practice it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>N. O.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>NOOOOO&#8230;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Deep breath.<\/p>\n<p>Try it again.<\/p>\n<p>No.<\/p>\n<p>Sometime, we should even shout it.<\/p>\n<p>Or&#8230;just whisper it. \u00a0No.<\/p>\n<p>A polite email. A firm shake of the head.<\/p>\n<p>A cute owl.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37608\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?resize=357%2C500\" alt=\"owl, no\" width=\"357\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?w=357&amp;ssl=1 357w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?resize=214%2C300&amp;ssl=1 214w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 357px) 100vw, 357px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I mean, it&#8217;s a simple basic word, right?<\/p>\n<p>Why in the hell do women have such a hard time saying it when we get asked for help? Extra assistance at the graduation party&#8230;a helping hand at this get-together. \u00a0In the case of writers, blurbing this book, donating a critique, doing workshops.<\/p>\n<p>For our kids stuff, I mean, we\u00a0<em>want<\/em> to help out and I try, but it&#8217;s easier on me to make material donations. I&#8217;ll go on field trips when I can. \u00a0But helping out with parties, helping with being all crafty&#8230;my creativity comes out in stories and I don&#8217;t think they want me teaching their kids about the birds and the bees, or talking about how I&#8217;ve had my heroines kill a bad guy with a corkscrew.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to the writing world, I want to help where I can. \u00a0I suck at critiques. I&#8217;d make a lousy editor. \u00a0I&#8217;m too blunt for some people&#8217;s preferences. \u00a0Not good for critique stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Blurbs&#8230;well, sometimes, but I can be a hot mess about the books I like. Don&#8217;t come near me if it&#8217;s anything medical or nursing related. \u00a0I&#8217;ll running screaming our the door. \u00a0I want to say yes, because I&#8217;m predisposed to wanting to help, but at the same time, I want to cringe and cry and say&#8230;<em>NO<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Workshops can be great if I&#8217;m close enough and can afford the travel, and the time, but those are one of the options I don&#8217;t have as much opportunity to help with as much.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s good politics to help out fellow writers, and I&#8217;ve gotten help from fellow writers, so I want to pass it forward. But sometimes&#8230;well, there&#8217;s just so much coming at you.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s some urgent family sort of stuff going on. I&#8217;ve got two kids graduating (5th and 12th grade) within 5 days of each other, I&#8217;ve got somebody I don&#8217;t really know asking me to host a make-up party, trying to organize a graduation party and write&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Ever get the feeling you want to pop?<\/p>\n<p>I finally did.<\/p>\n<p>I started saying NO&#8230; to everybody who asked for something unless I knew it was essential to me or my family.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t say it felt good, but that pressure gauge in my head felt better.<\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37608\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?resize=357%2C500\" alt=\"owl, no\" width=\"357\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?w=357&amp;ssl=1 357w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/no.png?resize=214%2C300&amp;ssl=1 214w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 357px) 100vw, 357px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Practice it. N. O. NOOOOO&#8230;. Deep breath. Try it again. No. Sometime, we should even shout it. Or&#8230;just whisper it. \u00a0No. A polite email. A<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2017\/04\/its-okay-to-say-it\/\" class=\"more-link\"><span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;It&#8217;s okay to say it&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":37608,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10161045129738658_54762468447":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[542],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>It&#039;s okay to say it... - Shiloh Walker<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Saying No. We don&#039;t also do it enough. 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