{"id":33234,"date":"2014-04-14T11:35:04","date_gmt":"2014-04-14T15:35:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/?p=33234"},"modified":"2014-04-14T11:36:34","modified_gmt":"2014-04-14T15:36:34","slug":"insta-love-and-building-bridges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shilohwalker.com\/website\/2014\/04\/insta-love-and-building-bridges\/","title":{"rendered":"Insta-love and building bridges"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

H\/T to Pearl for giving me a blog topic today! \u00a0I sometimes run out of steam when it’s near\/around release time because…well, nerves. \ud83d\ude09 \u00a0FYI, just a reminder, though, there are only a few hours to enter for the ARC of DEEPER THAN NEED<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This is more of a writer\/storytelling\/craft ramble.<\/p>\n

On twitter a little while ago, Pearl asked…<\/p>\n

Why the insta-love”hate”? I’ve been seeing it regularly in reviews lately. Is insta-love unrealistic? Unbelieveable? Wrong? What? (cont)<\/p>\n

\u2014 Pearl (@MaggieReadsRom) April 14, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She then went on to tweet that she’s married to a guy that she had that ‘instant’ love thing with…she met him and yeah, she knew right away he was the one. They’ve been together for 13 years, married for ten.<\/p>\n

I can relate to that. \u00a0While I can’t claim insta-love<\/em>, I can claim an insta-something<\/em>. \u00a0Ya see, I took one look at\u00a0my<\/em> guy and there was just something there. \u00a0 He was friends with my big brother and I crushed on him, and hard, for close to four years and then I finally blurted out one day…\u00a0Hey, how come you never come over here to see me…\u00a0<\/em>annnnndddd… twenty three years later, we’re still together. \u00a0But I don’t claim insta-love, because I met him for the first time when I was 11. \u00a0\ud83d\ude09 Insta-crush. \u00a0Love developed over time.
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

There was an immediate connection, yes, but if he’d been rude, a jerk, dismissive…or acted the way half my older brother’s friends did (aka…they acted like my brothers), I wouldn’t have felt that draw, I don’t think. \u00a0But he was…nice. \u00a0Kind. \u00a0Sort of shy, at times, but he had a great smile and he didn’t have that attitude a lot of the guys in \u00a0my neck of the woods had. \u00a0It wasn’t the best of neighborhoods and \u00a0the ‘tough guy’ shit doesn’t impress me.<\/p>\n

So the foundation for a real connection…love…grew from that first tug.<\/p>\n

Leah joined in with:<\/p>\n

@MaggieReadsRom<\/a> @shilohwalker<\/a> For me it’s when authors use it as a short cut w\/o really showing more between characters.<\/p>\n

\u2014 LVLMLeah (@LVLMLeah) April 14, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Using insta-love to establish a connection is absolutely fine…I do it all the time. \u00a0It’s a great hook and can make for some fun romances. \u00a0You take that instant…Oh, wow…<\/em>heart-racing, adrenaline rush, what the hell is this\u00a0<\/em>feeling and then you build on it.<\/p>\n

But you have to build on it.<\/p>\n

I think this is where a writer can make or break the ‘insta-love’ …or love at first sight sort of story.<\/p>\n

I kind of liken it to a bridge.<\/p>\n

@LVLMLeah<\/a> @MaggieReadsRom<\/a> it’s kinda like building a wooden bridge. That insta-love is one log, no supports. You need more, so BUILD more<\/p>\n

\u2014 Shiloh Walker (@shilohwalker) April 14, 2014<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Or building one, and the writer is the one doing the building. \u00a0That first punch of\u00a0what the hell\u00a0<\/em>with the heart racing and blood pounding, even a burst of arousal that you’ve never felt before…you take and lay it down. \u00a0That’s a log over a creek. \u00a0Maybe you can walk over it once, or twice. \u00a0But it’s not going to hold there for long. \u00a0Especially if you live in an area where it rains a lot. \u00a0One heavy spring thunderstorm… (aka…the first fight)…and that bridge is gone.<\/p>\n

So from there, you take that log and you build on it. \u00a0You need supports. \u00a0You need to show the reader the love. \u00a0The deeper connection. \u00a0You can’t\u00a0tell\u00a0<\/em>the reader that the love is there–it’s that whole\u00a0tell\u00a0<\/em>vs.\u00a0show\u00a0<\/em>thing and in stories like insta-love, it’s vital.<\/p>\n

Why\u00a0<\/em>does the hero\/heroine love their partner? \u00a0One look doesn’t a love-match make. \u00a0You can feel a tug and that tug can very well be that first log–the building of that connection, but from there…what is going on?<\/p>\n

What if the guy…or girl…is an asshole? \u00a0This doesn’t translate to saying that hero\/heroine can’t be the love interest, but if the brooder\u00a0is\u00a0<\/em>the love interest, the reader needs to understand the love connection there, and it’s got to be more than\u00a0he’s so tortured and I just know my love can change him<\/em>. \u00a0For one…that’s telling.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Insta-love shouldn’t, really, be any different than any other means of establishing attraction. \u00a0You’ve got things like the meet-cute, or the friends to lovers, or enemies to lovers…etc, etc.<\/p>\n

Maybe the problem is that too many take the love at first sight trope, and then turn it into a short cut. \u00a0There’s love, there’s sex, then BAM, automatic HEA…<\/p>\n

That’s lazy-storytelling. There is no shortcut if you want to have a good story.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Take that first subtle tug of attraction, when you\u00a0know s\/he\/both\u00a0<\/em>feel something…(From my book\u00a0If You Hear Her<\/em><\/a>)<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re asking me on a date?\u201d<\/p>\n

From the corner of his eye, he could see the bartender listening and not pretending not to. The kid barely looked old enough to be out of college\u2014hell, high school.<\/p>\n

Tuning the kid out of his mind, he focused on Lena.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019m asking you on a date. At least, I\u2019m trying to. It\u2019s been awhile since I\u2019ve asked a woman on a date, so maybe I\u2019m doing it wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, it\u2019s been awhile since a guy asked me on a date, so maybe I\u2019ve just forgotten how to recognize the clues.\u201d That pretty, wide mouth curled up in a slow smile.<\/p>\n

She had to say yes. Because he really, really wanted to kiss that mouth. He wanted to fist his hand in that dark red hair and he wanted to press his face between the slight swell of her breasts and nuzzle the soft skin there.<\/p>\n

He was a pretty good judge of people\u2014he knew how to read them. Under most circumstances, at least, and he didn\u2019t think he was reading her wrong.<\/p>\n

If he was reading her right, then she was feeling that same, subtle tug that he felt. Banking on that, he reached out and skimmed his fingers down her forearm. \u201cWell, now that we\u2019ve figured out what we\u2019re doing here, maybe we should try it again. I\u2019d like to have dinner…with you. Would you be interested?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever had a guy ask me out on a date within five minutes of seeing me.\u201d The smile on her face took on a bitter slant as she absently touched the dark glasses that shielded her eyes. \u201cUsually, within five minutes of seeing me, they are either on the other side of the room or they are trying to cut my food for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra glanced at the lasagna on his plate. \u201cI figure if you can make it, you can cut it just fine on your own. And you haven\u2019t answered me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. I haven\u2019t. I\u2019m still thinking…hell. Screw it. You know what, Ezra? I\u2019d love to have dinner with you.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And then you build on it…<\/p>\n

Give it supports…<\/p>\n

Every time I turn around, <\/i>he thought…Hell. Maybe this was some sort of sign. He started toward her table, but halfway there, he realized she wasn\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n

No, she was sitting at a table with two other people.<\/p>\n

A woman, about her age, Ezra figured. She was a looker, too, blond, blue-eyed and tanned. Her blond hair was worn short and sleek. Her eyes rested on his for a few seconds in female appraisal.<\/p>\n

Ezra looked at the guy, recognizing him from the other day. He\u2019d been with Lena at the sheriff\u2019s office. Judging by the look in his eye, the man had more than just a casual interest in her.<\/p>\n

He glanced at Ezra and then leaned forward, murmured to Lena. Ezra didn\u2019t catch a word, but Lena straightened and turned in his direction as he drew even with the table.<\/p>\n

\u201cMorning, Lena.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEzra.\u201d<\/p>\n

A slow smile curled that pretty mouth. She cocked her head. She shifted in her seat, crossed one slender, jeanclad leg over the other. \u201cWe\u2019re about done, but you\u2019re welcome to join us. We\u2019re just talking and drinking coffee. Avoiding the rain.\u201d<\/p>\n

From the corner of his eye, he saw the look in her friend\u2019s eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s plenty of rain to avoid. Are you sure you don\u2019t mind?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course not. After all, isn\u2019t that what friends do?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought her smile was just a tad bit mocking.<\/p>\n

He managed not to wince. Friends\u2014shit, that was the last thing he wanted…well, no. Not really. He did want to be friends with her. He just wanted more than that. A lot more.<\/p>\n

Wanted, but couldn\u2019t. Needed, even. Hell, he couldn\u2019t quit thinking about her and he had to.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And then build some more…<\/p>\n

“I can\u2019t get you out of my head, Lena. You\u2019re everywhere.\u201d He cupped her face in his hands, angling her head back. \u201cCan\u2019t stop thinking about you, not from the first time I saw you.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lena\u2019s sex life had been…limited. The last guy she\u2019d been serious with had been Remy\u2014sex with him had been fun, hot, and easy. They had been compatible in bed, but it hadn\u2019t compared to this.<\/p>\n

She and Ezra weren\u2019t compatible.<\/p>\n

They were damned near combustible.<\/p>\n

It went deeper than the heat, though.<\/p>\n

He made her laugh.<\/p>\n

He made her smile.<\/p>\n

Hell, he just made her happy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got that smile on your face again,\u201d he murmured. \u201cLike Sylvester the cat just got a hold of Tweety Bird, once and for all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo I?\u201d She smirked and sat up, stroking a hand down his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah. Kind of makes me wonder what you\u2019re thinking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing…exactly. Just this.\u201d She shrugged, absently circling a finger around his navel.<\/p>\n

He jumped and caught her hand. \u201cQuit that.\u201d<\/p>\n

A grin tugged at her lips. \u201cQuit what?\u201d Unable to resist, she wiggled around until she was sitting up and raked the nails of her other hand down his side. When he flinched and caught that wrist as well, she started to chuckle. \u201cYou\u2019re ticklish.\u201d<\/p>\n

She wiggled her hand free and poked him in the side again and he swore, catching her.<\/p>\n

She tried to roll away and they ended up wrestling across the bed, laughing and swearing\u2014although most of the swearing came from Ezra every time she managed to get free long enough to poke him in the ribs, under his arms. Even a light touch across his spine was enough.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoever would have thought the big, tough cop would be that ticklish?\u201d she teased as he rolled and pinned her beneath him.<\/p>\n

\u201cBrat,\u201d he muttered, stretching her arms over her head and holding her wrists in one hand.<\/p>\n

Biting the tip of her tongue, she twined a leg around and managed to stroke her big toe down his instep. He swore again and used his knee to press her thighs apart, pinning her hips against the bed. \u201cWould you quit it!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That ‘love at first sight’ thing is a lot more believable when people see that while that instant connection was there, they weren’t just blindly riding on it–they were building on it.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve known me for five weeks, Ezra. Five weeks. And you admitted it yourself not that long ago…you just came through a really, really bad experience,\u201d she said quietly, cupping his face in her hands. \u201cHow can you think you love me?\u201d<\/p>\n

He laid a hand on her heart. \u201cI think I started to fall in love with you that first night. You blushed when I called you beautiful…and then you shared your food with me. You got so nervous when I asked you for a date and I was scared as hell you would say no.\u201d Smoothing his hand up, he rested it on her neck, used his thumb to angle her chin up. \u201cI started to fall for you that night, Lena. I guess it\u2019s why I backed away…maybe I didn\u2019t think I could handle it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd what makes you think you can handle it now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, I\u2019m pretty sure I can\u2019t. But then again if I wait until I can handle things, then I never would do anything,\u201d he murmured, rubbing his lips against hers. \u201cThings happen when they happen, not when you\u2019re ready for them.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Of course…this is just my take on it.<\/p>\n

But when I’m reading a ‘love at first sight’ book and I end up tossing it aside because it’s falling into that ‘insta-love’ thing where it’s all…’oh, i love you i love you i love you…’<\/em> but the writer fails to paint me a good, cohesive picture\u00a0of<\/em> that love…there is no bridge, in other words…this usually why.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

FYI, the pic is mine. \u00a0I took it at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery a few years ago…that’s the Headless Horseman’s Bridge.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  H\/T to Pearl for giving me a blog topic today! \u00a0I sometimes run out of steam when it’s near\/around release time because…well, nerves. \ud83d\ude09 “Insta-love and building bridges”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":33236,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10161045129738658_54762468447":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[542,60],"tags":[116,528,572],"class_list":["post-33234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-useful-places-for-writers","tag-characterization","tag-tropes","tag-writing"],"yoast_head":"\nInsta-love and building bridges - 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